or day off number one! Time for the REAL adventure
For the first time I made it to breakfast. I'm not wasting my days off!
"I'm afraid I've only got one slice of bread. Would you like toast?"
No problem, Barbara, no problem.
Etienne Shardlow is taking me to the Comedy Underground tonight. Last night he told me that he performs his routine as an 11 year old boy. Sounds intruiging. Before then I've a Grand Prix and two football matches to watch. Oh yes; there's no way I'd do that at home on a Sunday. (Can I just add that without a car my options are pretty limited)
I tried to watch the Grand Prix online, but the internet's not great here so called a cab. After waiting 35 mins for it, I headed what would have been a 15 minute walk to Lonehill Shopping Centre.
Lots of comics out here do material about the difference between blacks, coloureds, Indians and whites.
The only difference I've really noticed so far is that white people tend to support "Man United" whereas black people seem to favour "Man-chis-ter". I don't think there's really much humour there. Although I'd imagine when they play City today it could be interesting. "It's Man-chis-ter versus Man-chis-ter." Hmmm.
I watched the last half hour of the match. At the end it genuinely displayed the score as "Manchester UTD 2 - 0 Man City". Wow. Maybe they really are the only Man-chis-ter team.
An Arsenal/Chelsea game (less than one mile from home. Aah. home) and three Watermelon and Chilli (not as bad as they sound) Mojitos later, Etienne picked me up in a car covered in logos of a schoolboy character. Etienne doesn't drive up everyone's arse. Turns out not everybody does. Just the wankers, he tells me ... like back home, eh
It was lovely to see John Vlismus at the gig. We worked out here in 2004. Typically he didn't remember me, but did remember the DVD of Doug Stanhope material I painstakingly made for him. Then he suddenly remembered me.
The Underground is a really interesting show. Eight comics fill in the gaps around John's ego (you'll remember me next time you fucker!) show performing completely new material. To be fair, John was head and shoulders above pretty much all of them. My favourite had to be a Chinese guy doing a whole set about how Asians behave in strip clubs. A room of bemused non-strip clubbers looking confused really made me laugh.
After the show I had a drink with a few comics including Chris Forrest, who I also worked with in 2004. He said he'd take me to Soweto tomorrow. Nice thought, but I live in London, so I'm used to people cancelling last minute.
As we left, the parking guard told Etienne that the parking guard at another car park wanted a word with him "Why don't you use my car park any more?" "Er. We're at a different venue now"
And with that the police appeared from nowhere accusing us of buying drugs. If we find anything in your car we'll charge you double. Wow. I had no idea the police here worked on commission.
I finished the day watching The Apprentice (sad, eh), then went to bed safe in the knowledge that I had Match Of The Day 2 downloading for tomorrow. Sweet.