Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Rob's South African Adventure - Day Four. Saturday

Not much to report from the day part. Saw the fantastic new Star Trek film. The Jo'burg audience clapped it whilst walking out before the credits had even started which was a bit odd. Obviously everyone's busier than me.

We arrived at Carnival City slightly earlier than Friday as Joe seemed hell bent on beating his personal best time. I think he just wanted to make sure I didn't miss any of Fleshback, and clearly isn't a dirty old man.
I chose to watch the second half of the Liverpool vs West Ham game instead. Fans here are quite funny in that they know all the details but have never actually been to a game. I found an old guy slumped by the bar wearing a West Ham top over his shirt, a West Ham hat and a West Ham fan's face. "Know who got the 3rd Liverpool goal?" "Ryan someone" He didn't put a cheese grater to my face, so is clearly not a REAL West Ham fan.

Joe warned me not to do the MILF joke as she was in with her husband. As any comic knows, that's like a red rag to a bull with an ego that dictates they know 'funny'. Of course I did the joke. I did add "sexy" so that she (or moreover, her husband/pimp) didn't get upset. As I left she gave me the thumbs up.

I'll tell you who did get upset though ... the entire audience at Parker's when I called the traffic lights "the robots". Holy mother of shit! I thought I was being nice by patronising them and using their ridiculous words for things, but they weren't having any of it. "YOU call them traffic lights". OK, OK.

Then the line "we were off to the football" offended a few people. "We don't want to hear about football." Well, you weren't about to, but now everyone seems to be shouting their favourite teams at me. Actually the gig went pretty well. They properly cheered me onto the stage and rather than applause breaks, some people chose to shout out, "Go Rob!" I felt a bit daft. It's just me talking ... and I don't have an American comic-sized ego.
I obviously hadn't seen the rest of the night, but they were loving the compere, Al Prodgers, so seemed to have got their money's worth.

Afterwards I chatted with a few acts who'd shown up. Hannes who'd been on before me tried to introduce me to a girl he knows who's a TV producer. "I don't want to know his name!" She clearly hadn't heard the chants. She then proceded to tell me how she didn't want to be there, had been at home before being dragged out, and always swallows. OK.... nutter alert! When I started to chatting to Sam, the bar manager, she appeared to get a bit jealous, kissed me on the cheek and said, "I'm off to put the kids to bed. You do what you want with her. I bet she doesn't swallow"
"I gargle actually" joked Sam.

And that was pretty much that. The Producer took another act home and I was left with the promise of exciting days off. "We'll take you to the Lion Park". I actually went the last time I was here. Aah.

1 comment:

  1. I've never been to South Africa. You always get more gigs than me. It's not fair. And I swallow, in case anyone's interested.